Alone in this Together
by Gamblersgirl09
Summary: Ron and Hermione are working through wounds, emotional and physical from the war but an unexpected and unwelcome surprise sends Hermione into a downward spiral. Please Review. Rated M just in case and for later chapters.
1. Say You Like Me

AN: So not exactly what's going on in the book at this point but i had to change it to work. JKR owns all, i just write a bit. Please Review, criticize and all that jazz.

The castle had been breached. Voldemort's army was swarming into the brick building that had once been a sanctuary for young minds. Spells flew left and right. Killing spells from the Death Eater side, countered by stunning or disarming spells by the members of the Order, Dumbledore's Army and the rest of Hogwarts students that had started to fight. Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley sprinted, hands clasped together tightly holding onto one another for dear life, through the mess of the students still trying to flee before the fighting became overwhelming. Suddenly Ron slammed to a stop causing a terrified looking first year to slam into his back and Hermione's arm to be wretched back painfully.

"Ronald! What are you doing? We have to find Harry and destroy this!" Hermione exclaimed a frantic, borderline panicked look in her eye as she waved the Hufflepuff horcrux in her hand.

"Harry doesn't have anything that will destroy it, but a basilisk fang would!" Ron shouted excitedly, starting to tug her back the way they came.

"We don't have a basili...oh my god, Ron, that's brilliant!" She shouted, understanding of where he was trying to drag her to suddenly washing over her.

"Always the tone of surprise." Ron called over his shoulder, with a playful smirk. Ron had been just a part of the trio for so long it felt good to finally be able to feel like he had helped. Harry was always the Chosen one and Hermione had always been the brains. He had always been Just Ron, not so bright or athletic sidekick to the boy who lived.

"Shouldn't we find Harry and tell him?" Hermione asked as they ran down the flights of stairs, dodging students trying to make it to the relative safety of their common rooms.

"It'll waste time if we find Harry. We have the horcrux and we're getting closer and closer to one of the few things that will destroy it with every step we take. Let's just get rid of it and then try to find Harry. He's busy searching for the diadem, finding him would only waste our time and his."

"How will we get into the Chamber? You said Harry had to talk parseltongue to it for it to open, neither of us are parselmouths, Ron." Hermione argued, slowing. If they had to find Harry she didn't want to wait until they were all the way at the entrance to the Chamber, that would waste more time than going to find him now.

Ron felt the pull on his arm, stopped and turned to face Hermione. He could tell her rapid breathing wasn't just from running. She was scared. Hell, he was scared. They were in the middle of a war zone, racing past terrified classmates, trying to find reach the one thing that could kill a sadistic dark wizard. Who wouldn't be terrified. Ron stared into her eyes, seeing the panic start to creep slowly into the light brown that he had come to dream about almost every night and wanted nothing more than to wrap her in her arms, hold her close and protect her from all the evils of the world. He wished he could save her from this nightmare of a world they lived and in that moment he knew he would risk anything to keep her safe, even if it meant he lost his own life. In that moment he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved Hermione Granger and wanted nothing more than to live a peacefully, simple life with her forever. He wanted to tell her how that he loved her but the only words that escaped his lips were, "Harry talks in parseltongue in his sleep sometimes. I think I can remember how it goes."

Hermione nodded and with a deep breath took off running towards the second floor girl's lavatory, pulling Ron along with. Within a few strides they were running even. After two more flights of stairs and a long sprint down a deserted corridor they arrived at the door the lavatory. Ron stopped and grabbed both of Hermione's hands in his.

"Ron, we have to hurry!" Hermione protested, trying to free her hands and continue into the bathroom.

"I have to say something, before we get to caught up in the battle. With all that's going on, I might never have a chance again." Ron explained, keeping her hands in an iron grip as she fought him. Her attempts to escape stopped and she looked up at him expectantly. "Hermione Granger, we've known each other our whole time at Hogwarts and I know I've been a total ass for the majority of it but I...I want...no...I think...I.."

"Spit it out, Ronald! Voldemort's getting closer and closer with every second we waste." Hermione exclaimed, annoyed with his stammering.

Ron's eyes narrowed in frustration and he snapped, "Fine! I think I love you! Happy?" He released her hands and crossed his arms over his chest.

Hermione ducked her head shyly and pushed a strand of her bush hair behind her ear. When she looked up her face was lit up with the biggest grin Ron had ever seen. "I think I love you too, Ronald Weasley, and I would love more than anything to spend as much time as I can with you after this bloody war is over, if Harry defeats Voldemort."

"When Harry defeats Voldemort, you mean." Ron said with a grin, his clear blue eyes lit up in with happiness for the first time in months. He had told Hermione he loved her and she hadn't walked away from him or slapped him. In fact, she'd confessed that she loved him to. They had to win this war, so he could be with the girl he loved. Ron held out a freckled hand and grinned even wider as Hermione took it and interlocked her fingers with his and pushed open the door to the bathroom.

Hermione and Ron stood in front of the circular podium of sinks. "Which one is it?" Hermione asked, all the of the sinks looked exactly the same.

Ron pointed to the two directly in front of them. "It's one of those ones. I'm not sure exactly which one, I haven't been here since second year." Ron replied taking a step towards the sinks.

"Maybe you know, hmm?" A voice called from behind the sinks and Draco Malfoy was pushed out into the open. Ron whipped out his wand, his body facing Draco but was disarmed quickly as a Death Eater that jumped out from one the stalls, judging by the small surprised squeak that came from his right, he assumed Hermione had been disarmed as well. Two more Death Eater's stepped out from behind the sinks. Ron felt his stomach drop in dread, how could they have been so stupid as to run into a trap? Obviously, the Death Eater's had been waiting for them. He should have known that Voldemort would protect the Chamber. He felt so stupid, the one time he felt like he could actually help his friends he only managed to lead Hermione into a trap.

"When I say 'go', run. Do you understand?" Ron whispered, his lips barely moving. Hermione made a small noise to indicate she heard.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Didn't your mommy ever teach you not to keep secrets? You're not even all that good at it." One of the masked Death Eaters that had come from behind the sinks, mocked before he snarled, "You're not going anywhere. Grab them!"

One of the Death Eaters that had snuck up behind them suddenly grabbed Ron and pressed his wand to the boy's neck. Ron turned his head slightly to see that the other Death Eater had grabbed Hermione and his eyes narrowed in anger as he watched the man's hands slowly creep up to Hermione's chest. "Let her go! You can have me!" Ron snarled struggling in vain against his captor.

"Ron, stop. Fighting won't help us at all." Hermione said from where she was being held off to his right. He could hear the fear and the tinge of disgust in her voice.

How could he not fight? How could he just remain calm as some unknown Death Eater groped his...girlfriend? He still wasn't even sure what they were and he had already led her into danger that caused her to be violated. He snarled and struggled against his captor's hold once again but the Death Eater held strong.

"They weren't exaggerating about you being the brains of this operation were they?" The Death Eater that was obviously in charge said his tone dripping sarcasm. The Death Eater's head turned in Ron's direction. "I really don't want you, gingy. You wouldn't be as much fun as her." He drawled, before reaching up to take off his mask. Dolohov.


	2. Make It Stop

AN: I'll be switching between 3rd person limited p.o.v. Please review and tell me what you think, any ways I can improve or make the story better. Also chapter idea names would be good.

WARNING content in chapter may not be suitable, or to the liking of all.

_Hermione's POV_

"Bring me the girl." Dolohov snarled, the mocking almost amused look he had worn earlier disappearing immediately. Now that the two could see his face clearly they could tell that half of it was frozen in place, as if paralyzed. Hermione started to wonder what had caused it, but her thoughts were quickly put on hold. The Death Eater holding Hermione moved forward, taking advantage of what little time he had left around her. Hermione's skin crawled in disgust as one of his hands wandered to her butt. It was almost a relief when he handed her off to Dolohov. Hermione could hear Ron struggling against his captor behind her and she wanted nothing more than to beg him to break the Death Eater's hold and save them. She held her tongue and glared up at Dolohov, her eyes filled with hate.

"Well, doesn't someone have quite a bit of fight in them. I wouldn't be so hostile if I was in your situation." Dolohov snarled waving his wand and muttering an incantation.

Hermione's hands slapped together and she felt a rope start to bind them but when she looked down there was nothing holding her wrists together.

"What do you want with me?" She snarled, trying to force her hands apart.

Dolohov grabbed her arms and pulled her flush against him, his hands roaming along her body. Hermione struggled against his hold and his touches but refused to make a sound. No way would she give this sick monster the satisfaction.

"Don't touch her!" Ron yelled in the background and Hermione felt her heart flutter slightly. Ron would always fight for her, even if there was no way he would be able to help.

"I'm going to do a hell of a lot more than touch her, Weasley." Dolohov snarled before grabbing, swinging her around and slamming her into one of the sinks. Ron shouted out but Hermione couldn't tell what he said over the sudden pain in her back. The sink had smashed into her spine. Her eyes welled up but she fought to keep the cry of pain from escaping. Dolohov saw the pain in her eyes and smirked. He grabbed her wrists and wretched them upwards in a quick motion, slamming them into the mirror. He muttered again and they stuck like glue to the mirror. Hermione felt the cold tinglings of fear start to creep across her chest. She had a feeling she knew what was coming next but she prayed that she was wrong, but the look in Dolohov's eyes knew that her prayers were in vain. Dolohov's eyes wandered down her body and Hermione finally let out one word, filled with all the hate and anger she felt towards him, "Don't."

Dolohov only smirked, his hands moved down to the button of her jeans, his fingers lingering there for a few seconds, letting the realization of what was about to happen sink in fully. Hermione squirmed, trying to get his fingers away from her but he pushed himself harder against her, his body flush against her to keep her from moving. He undid the button on her jeans and pushed them down, agonizingly slow. Hermione wished he would just hurry up and get it done with. She could no longer deny that it was going to happen but she didn't want Ron to have to see it all. She couldn't believe that her first time was going to be with a sadistic Death Eater in the second floor bathroom with Ron watching. It was supposed to be with Ron, after everything was back to normal, after Harry defeated Voldemort and the wizarding world was safe.

Dolohov unbuttoned his black pants and pulled them down. Hermione kept her eyes up, not able to look at what was going to take her virginity when it should have been Ron. She was looking up at the ceiling when Dolohov grabbed her chin harshly and pulled it down so they were eye to eye.

"Do you know what it's like to be ripped apart?" He snarled before thrusting into her in, quickly and harshly. Hermione screamed out in pain, tears swimming to her eyes. It hurt, it hurt so bad. She felt like she was splitting in half. In that moment, she truly believed she would take Bellatrix's cruciatus curse over this. She wanted to cry out and scream at him to stop but she bit into her lip until she tasted blood. He would not win.

"Do you know what it's like to not have control over your own body?" Dolohov yelled, his face inches from her, spit flecking her cheeks. Hermione just glared back at him with hate filled eyes, refusing to speak. "Answer me!" He roared, his hand flying to her throat and squeezing slightly. Hermione's only response was to spit into his face, she wouldn't give in. She would stand strong, Dolohov had already taken the one thing she had left to give. She had nothing else left but her will to survive and her strength to fight. She'd barely even registered that his hand had left her neck before it was crashing into her cheek, sending her crashing to the ground, ripping her wrists of the mirror. Her head slammed against the floor of the bathroom and her cried out. The coldness of the stones seeping through her bare legs. Before she could even attempt to crawl away Dolhov was on her again.

"See my face? The Dark Lord did this as he tore through my mind, trying to find and fix the memories you erased. He had complete and utter control over me. He raped my mind, just like I'm doing to your body. How does it feel to have absolutely no control, mudblood?" Dolohov snarled into her ear.

Hermione saw her chance to give Dolohov some pain. She turned her head slightly and her mouth was level with his ear. She lunged out and clamped her teeth onto the top of his ear and bit down as hard as she could. Dolohov screamed and released her sides, where his hands had been resting. He grabbed her head and slammed it into the stone. Hermione saw stars and her jaw slackened. Her head was swimming with pain and she felt like she could pass out at any second.

"How dare you!" Dolohov screamed before slamming into her center once again, drawing forth another pained scream from Hermione. He continued to pound into her, and try as she might she couldn't hold back the cries of pain any longer. All of a sudden Dolohov's gripped tightened on her arms and she looked up to see his eyes roll back slightly. She knew exactly what was happening and she felt disgusted, filthy, sick. That bastard had just dumped everything inside of her. Part of him was swimming through her body right now. She felt bile rise in her throat but she pushed it down. She saw him relax slightly and knew that this was her chance to get him off her. When he slumped forward she brought arms up and hit him on the side of the head as hard as she could from the position she was in. Dolohov grunted and fell off of her. Hermione started to crawl away as fast as she could.

Dolohov staggered to his feet and grabbed the fleeing girl by her bushy brown hair. He pulled her to her feet, holding her extremely close. Hermione continued to struggle, kick and try her hardest to get Dolohov away from her.

"You still have so much fight." Dolohov whispered as he moved his mouth closer to her ear, making sure his own ears stayed out of the range of her mouth. "Bellatrix tried to break you with magic but failed, I've tried to break you with force but apparently have failed in that route. Yet, I think may have one more card to play that destroy the fierce Hermione Granger and what will Harry Potter do without his brains?"

"Nothing you can do will hurt me more than you already have." Hermione snarled in response.

"Oh really. Did you know you put up a lot more fight than your mother? Or that you father begged me on his knees to kill him? Your mother begged me to kill her too, and I being ever merciful obliged, after I gave her to my boys of course. She was okay, but nothing compared to you, mudblood. They filthy blood stained my shoes as I watched them bleed dry and left them there to rot. Did you really think you could protect them?" Dolohov asked mockingly.

Hermione felt a knot start to form in her stomach. Her parents couldn't be dead. She had made sure they would be safe. Dolohov was lying. Her parents were in Australia, probably searching for cavities on some bratty ten year old at this exact moment in time.

"You're lying. They're alive and safe." Hermione whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Oh really? Care to explain why I have these then?" Dolohov asked, his mocking, arrogant tone grinding against Hermione's nerves. She wanted to kill him, she wanted to harm him as much as he had hurt her. She watched as he pulled on a chain that hung around her neck and what she saw made her knees give out. Around his neck was her parent's wedding rings. Dolohov released her arms, the only thing keeping her on her feet and Hermione Granger crashed to the floor, numbness flooded into her body taking over completely. She was finally broken.


	3. It Wasn't Your Fault But Mine

A.N. So I thought it'd be a good idea to give yall a glimpse of both Ron and Hermione's view of what happened. Chapters will be added as I write them but it is the summer before my senior year and I'm running CC, so they will come as I have time to write. Thanks for reading and reviewing (hint hint :) ) Sorry this chapter's short.

_Ron's POV_

"Don't touch her!" Ron yelled lunging against his captor's hold as Dolohov pulled Hermione close. He felt sick as he watched the monster's hands roam up and down her body, touching places that only he should be able to touch and only after at least a few weeks of being a couple. He wanted to break loose and rip Dolohov apart, limb by bloody limb. His mind quickly scrambled through the many different, violent ways he could end Dolohov's life.

Those thoughts only intensified when he heard the bastard say, "I'm going to do a hell of a lot more than touch her, Weasley." Ron felt his blood boil as Dolohov whipped Hermione around and slammed her into the sink. He could tell by the look on her face that she was in pain, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He slammed against his captor's hold, hoping he could break free, he would give anything to be able to rescue her. Yet, his struggling stopped cold when he heard her speak that one word, "Don't."

"Hermione!" He shouted slamming over and over against the Death Eater's hold. He could feel his captor's grip slipping. Hope washed over him, one more struggle he felt for sure he could break free. He felt one of the Death Eater's hands slip and he almost yelled out in victory. Ron didn't expect the cruciatus curse that hit him with such force it caused him to cry out in pain. Every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire. How did Hermione survive more than one round of this pain? Ron could focus only on the pain flowing in continuous waves through his body. The death eater finally lifted the curse and Ron slumped forward into his arms. He barely had the energy to look up and watch as Dolohov assaulted his...Hermione, the girl he loved. The guilt poured over him as he realized that he could do nothing to stop it. It had been his idea to come down to this bathroom, it had been his idea not to tell Harry where they were, it had been his declaration of undying love that had caused Hermione to be off her guard before coming into the bathroom. This was all his fault. He was the reason this was happening to Hermione. He tore his eyes away from the scene happening on the floor of the bathroom and turned his gaze towards Draco Malfoy.

"Do you get off watching this? Didn't get enough of a show at your Manor?" Ron snarled at him, not noticing the way Draco hunched in the corner as if he wished he was anywhere but the second floor bathroom. Draco ignored Ron's comments and continued to stare at the floor.

Ron's eyes were drawn back to Hermione when he heard her scream. He had prayed that after Malfoy Manor he would never have to hear her scream again, once again he had failed her. He watched as Dolohov went slack on top of him and felt sick. He knew what was happening, hell it'd happened to him before. He felt disgusted. Bile rose in his throat but he forced it down. He couldn't let himself get overemotional, he had to stay strong for Hermione. She would need a shoulder to lean on, or knowing her, to hit a few times and he would be that shoulder.

Ron felt a surge of pride as Hermione smashed Dolohov across the side of the head and tried to crawl away. That's the Hermione he knew and loved, she would fight until she had nothing left.

When she went slack in Dolohov's arms, he could feel any hope he had left slip from his body. Questions swam through his mind. Had Dolohov given the killing curse? As Hermione's body slipped to ground. Ron lunged against his captor's arms. "No!" He roared. His eyes remained solely on Hermione, praying that he would see her move. She remained still on the ground and Ron felt like his whole world was spinning. Hermione would never give up fighting. He had to get to her, to see what had happened.

Dolohov kicked Hermione in the side, flipping her over so she laid on her back. "She's all yours, boys." Dolohov announced waving his hands at the two other Death Eater's in the room, one of which was still holding Ron.

"What should I do with this?" Ron's captor grunted, tightening his grip on Ron's throat, causing the red head to gasp for breath.

"Kill him. I don't care." Dolohov snarled.

The Death Eater raised his wand but Dolohov held up his hand quickly. "Wait. Let's have some fun with him first." He said with a sadistic smirk. "Drop him."

The Death Eater pushed Ron to the ground, but before he could scramble to his feet he was hit with a Cruciatus curse. Ron cried out, his body contorting in pain. The curse seemed to course through his body for hours, when it was finally lifted he laid on the ground unmoving his breath coming in deep gasps. His eyes followed Dolohov as the monster walked over to Draco and threw his arm over the boy's shoulder. "Before you begin with the girl, I just wanted to thank our precious Malfoy boy for telling us that the Golden Trio would most likely come here at some point during the war. Isn't he such a good. little. boy." Each of his last words was interrupted by a sharp slap to Malfoy's face.

The Death Eater's laughed as Malfoy swallowed in fear and seemed to fold into himself even more. Ron groaned and made to move towards Hermione, he had to get to her before the Death Eater's did. He had moved barely an inch when he saw the booted foot of a Death Eater coming towards his face. He had closed his eyes, expecting the pain to come when suddenly it stopped. He opened his blue eyes and saw the Death Eater's staring at their arms. Lord Voldemort was calling them back. It was then that the Voldemort's voice flooded through the Castle. Ron couldn't understand exactly what was happening, his ears still rang from the curse but he saw the Death Eaters look at each other and and Dolohov said something. It sounded like "Leave them, we can kill them when the Dark Lord wins." but he wasn't entirely sure. Before he could think about what had happened the booted foot connected with his face and his vision went black.

When Ron came the bathroom was empty except for him and Hermione. He swallowed as he saw that her body half was still completely bare. He crawled on his hands and knees to her side and pulled off the jacket he was wearing. He laid it over her legs, covering any parts he was sure she wouldn't want him to see. He put his hand to her face, but her skin was freezing. He felt his heart breaking in his chest. She couldn't be dead. Hermione couldn't die, not like this, not in a cold bathroom after being violated by a madman. He put his hand on her throat, careful to avoid the bruising that was already starting to form and felt for a pulse. His heart leapt in joy as he felt the faint beating of her heart. "Hermione." He whispered, his face inches from her. She didn't even stir. Ron started to panic, what had Dolohov done to her? "Hermione! Please, please wake up. Harry and I can't do this without you." He begged his hand moving from her neck to grab her hand. Still no movement. "Hermione, I need you. Please, I don't know what I would do without you. Please wake up for me. Come back to me." He begged, before lifting her up and wrapping her in his arms, holding her close against his chest. It seemed like he held he for a lifetime before he heard a soft, tentative "Ron?" coming from where her head rested against his shoulder.


	4. Headlong into the Abyss

AN: Sorry for the long time before the update. I had cross country camp which was a blast but no computers were allowed :( this chapter's short but i'll put the next one up soon I promise. Thanks for the reviews and more are always appreciated!

"Ron?" Hermione mumbled into Ron's shoulder. Her mind was covered in a thick fog, for once nothing ran through the mind of the know-it-all. She pulled her head off of Ron's shoulder and looked at his freckly face, noticing the tears streaking his cheeks. "Why are you crying?" She asked, her voice soft, a faraway look in her eyes.

"What?" Ron hadn't even noticed he was crying. He reached up one of his pale freckly hands to his cheek and felt the line of moisture coming from his eyes. "I thought you were dead." He answered, his voice barely audible as he pulled her tight against his chest and kissed her hair. "You have no idea how scared I was. I thought...I thought Dolohov had hit you with a killing curse. You just crumple to the ground."

Hermione just nodded, not quite comprehending all that Ron had said. It was like he was a million miles away, and his voice was echoing through a long tunnel, not quite reaching her fully. She could barely think. She couldn't focus on him. She couldn't...she just couldn't.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Ron asked after he released the tight hug, her body felt limp in his arms as if she wasn't holding herself up at all.

Hermione drew her eyes from the spot they had locked onto and looked at Ron's face, her eyes not really seeing. Seconds ticked by in silence before the question finally made sense through the fog. "I'm fine." She mumbled, no emotion coating her tone. It was bland, scary bland. As she sat staring at her love's face she felt the sudden need to be doing something, anything to clear the fog. An image of Harry flashed through her mind, slicing through the fog like the light from a lighthouse. Harry...the horcruxes...defeating Voldemort. That's what they needed to do. Hermione shook her head, the mission that she had to complete chasing the fog from her mind.

"Ron, we have to get into the Chamber and destroy the horcrux. Harry's counting on us." Hermione said, attempting to get to her feet but felt the a sharp pain all over her body. Her entire body felt like the Knight Bus had run over it. She ached from head to toe.

"Hermione, you're not okay. Let me go and do this. I can put up wards around one of the stalls and you can stay until the fighting is over." Ron said, pulling Hermione to him again, wincing as if her cry in pain had physically hurt him.

Hermione pushed roughly out of his arms and glared straight into his eyes. "I will not sit here and let my friends fight a fight that I need to be a part of! How dare you even suggest that Ronald Weasley! Do you think I am that weak that I need to be shut up in a corner, cowering in fear while you go off and be the bloody hero? No. Go get the pink potion from my bag, and then we will finish what we came to this bloody place to do." Hermione yelled at him, getting a brief feeling of satisfaction in the surprised, shocked, and slightly wounded look that passed through Ron's eyes. She didn't know why but it felt good to yell, it helped the fog in her brain push out a little bit more. All the rest of her feelings were locked in the fog to be dealt with when she could. There was no way she could break down now, she had to stay strong for Harry, and the Order.

Ron was shocked. He had never ever heard Hermione Granger curse. She wasn't not okay but he knew he couldn't fight with her, not now. He couldn't argue that she shouldn't be a part of the war, especially not after what she had just been through because of the war they were in. Millions of things ran through his brain on what he wanted to reply, some angry, some sarcastic, some nice but he kept them all tom himself. Instead he just let go of Hermione and started towards the beaded bag on his hands and knees.

She watched as Ron crawled over to her bag which had been thrown into the corner by one of the Death Eaters. He reached down inside and pulled out a small vial filled with a pinkish liquid.

"What is this?" He asked as he crawled back, handing over the vial.

"It's a pain reliving potion, it'll make me the pain completely go away for at least three hours." She answered, uncorking the potion and draining it. Her body burned for a brief second before the pain disappeared completely.

Ron had brought the bag over and pulled out a pair of her jeans and another pair of underwear. "Here." Was all he said as he turned around to face the sinks, giving her some privacy.

Hermione pulled off her other jeans and old underwear, feeling her stomach tighten and vomit start to rise in her throat. She forced it down and took a deep breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. She pushed the thoughts, and memories fighting for control of her, back into the numbing fog. Now was not the time. She took one more deep breath and swallowed the lump in her throat before pulling on the new underwear and jeans. She lit the small pile of clothing that she had discarded on fire, feeling a brief jolt of something as she watched them burn to a crisp.

"Ready?" She asked, hoarsely.

Ron nodded and held out his hand. She grabbed onto it, holding it painfully tight. Ron and Harry where what was keeping her from disappearing into the fog, Ron was her anchor in the black sea that had become her mind.

Ron stood in front of the sink with the snakes and spoke in parseltongue. The sink opened up revealing the tunnel that disappeared into the dark sewer. Ron gave her hand a squeeze. Hermione looked up into his blue eyes and felt the strength and support radiating from him. He would be there when she was ready to talk, and he was here waiting for her to be ready to jump. She nodded and they stepped off into the tunnel, headlong into the abyss. Together.


	5. I'm Not Okay

AN: Okay soooooo senior year started, cross country is taking up a lot of time, and a big horse show is coming up soon so sorry for the long update. Just going to let yall know right now that updates will be even more sporadic because I have to write when I have time. Hope yall like this chapter, I know it kinda sucks but hey thats life haha :)

They landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the dark chute. Hermione could feel the heavy weight on her chest and hands pushing against her to try to find their way to the ground. She felt her throat constrict in panic and she could barely suppress the urge to kick and punch violently at the person on top of her. The weight rolled off of her after barely any time at all but to her it felt like an eternity. She could hear her own shallow, panicked breaths in the dark and knew that Ron could hear them as well. She was still trying to gain control of herself when the room they were in was flooded with light from the tip of Ron's wand. She hadn't even heard him say the spell. She felt completely weak, falling apart at the slightest little thing. She looked in the direction the light was coming from and saw Ron staring at her. She wanted to yell at him, demand to know what he was staring at, anything to get rid of the paralyzing fear that was coursing through her at that particular moment in time.

"Hermione. I didn't mean to. We just...well...I jumped...I couldn't control...I'm sorry. I didn't meant to land on you." Ron apologized softly, his head hanging in shame. He felt like he was the root cause of so much pain today. He couldn't do anything right.

Hermione just looked at him before rolling onto her side, her back facing Ron. She had to get herself under control. Ron couldn't see her like this. They had a job to do. They had to help Harry and get rid of the horcrux. They didn't have time for her to be so weak. At that moment in time Hermione didn't feel like the brain behind the success of Harry Potter, she felt like a burden who couldn't control her own emotions long enough to do the one thing Harry really needed their help with. With a deep breath Hermione pushed all the terror and panic back into the part of her mind they had escaped from and welcomed the numbness that flooded her once again. She climbed to her feet and brushed herself off before looking back at the red head.

"Let's go." She stated calmly, her voice void of emotion once again, before heading off down the pipe that she assumed led to the entrance to the Chamber.

Ron staggered to his feet, his mind completely blown. How could Hermione go from complete terror to the scary emptiness that she was at now. He knew for a fact that it was not healthy but right now wasn't the best time to try to crack the wall she had built around her thoughts. All he knew was that when that wall was ready to crumble he would be the one who held her, through sobs or punches. Either way he would be the one who would help to cushion the blow when she finally took a minute to deal.

Ron had taken the lead someplace back in the pipe, the light from his wand making it easy to see where they were going. They stopped at the snake covered vault like door. "I have to speak parseltongue to it." Ron said, although he was pretty sure Hermione was not paying an ounce of attention to him. She had been silent the entire way. When he had looked at her, he had been disturbed by the blank, dead look in her eyes. He prayed they both survived this war and the light side won. He didn't know how he could deal with losing Hermione, but he definitely could not deal if the last memory he had of her was like she was now. This was not his Hermione. This Hermione scared him. Ron spoke to the door and watched as it slowly swung open and revealed the Chamber of Secrets. He felt himself shudder. The last time he had heard about this place was when Harry was describing how he had saved Ginny. This was the place where his sister had almost drawn her last breath.

As he stood thinking about the past Hermione pushed past him and walked along the long walkway to the skeleton of the basilisk. She heard Ron's running footsteps catching up to her but she didn't turn around. Right now her mind was one track with its destination being destroy the horcrux. She grabbed onto one of the fangs and pulled as hard as she could, with a slight pop the fang came loose from the skeletal skull. She barely noticed that Ron too grabbed a fang as well. She pulled the cup out of her purse and felt the vibration on the inside. She wondered if it knew it was about to die.

"I can do it, if you want." Ron held out his hand, the basilisk fang in the other.

Hermione's dead expressions changed instantly to one of barely concealed rage. "I can do it just fine. It's my turn." She snapped. She quickly turned away from him and set the cup on the ground. She knelt down in front of it, drawing the fang above her head. As she stared at the cup she watched in horror as the cup morphed into the half paralyzed face of Dolohov. Angry, hate filled tears welled up in her eyes and with a strangled cry she slammed the fang down onto the cup. She barely noticed the tears streaking down her face as she pulled the fang back up and stabbed it again and again. The face never disappeared, it didn't even seem like she did any damage. She wanted to tear the face apart. The killing curse flashed through her mind and she wanted more than anything to shout it at the face staring back at her, impervious to her assault on it. She wanted him to die, to suffer at her hand like she had at his. With one last angered scream she slammed the fang into the cup for the last time before dropping it. She sat on her knees sobbing, staring at the cup that was once again nothing more than a cup.

Ron watched the scene in front of him, his heart in his throat. He didn't know what to do, nothing he could think of seemed good enough and he knew better than to try to touch her. Standing there, helpless and clueless, he felt exactly like the useless sidekick he had always been. Who was he to think earlier that he could actually help Hermione or Harry? Here he was watching the aftermath of something that was his fault. It was all his fault. He couldn't protect Hermione and now he couldn't even comfort her. Harry would know what to do. Harry always knew what to do. Hermione deserved someone so much better than himself, even watching her mad with anger and hate he dreaded the day she would realize she could do so much better. He took a step towards her, holding his hand just above her shoulder as she sobbed. He wanted nothing more than to just set it there and give what little comfort he could offer but he withdrew his hand and cleared his throat. "Hermione?" He asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

The sound of Ron's voice brought her back from the dark place her mind had let her slip into. It sounded far off, like at the end of a tunnel. She blinked a few times before realizing how much she had lost control of herself, again. How weak could she be? Honestly, people upstairs were dying and here she sat crying feeling sorry for herself. She wiped her eyes and took a few deep breaths, once again taking control of her mind. Logic and duty were fighting against anger, pain, hurt and self pity for control her mind and emotions right now. After about a minute of calming herself Hermione grabbed the cup, climbed to her feet and looked at Ron. "Let's go find Harry." She replied softly. She would get through this night and after that she would leave and deal with what she needed to deal with. All she was really certain of right now was that she was not okay. Definitely not okay.


	6. Dirty Little Secret

AN: I know, its been forever since I updated but I barely have time to sleep now a days. You all can thank sick days for this update haha. I'm trying to write as much as I can today so I can update over the next few days to hold you over until I actually have time again. Hope you Enjoy. Oh and sorry if this chapter kind of sucks. Some pretty much write themselves because you can picture them in your head so well, others are like pulling teeth. This was a pulling teeth chapter :)

Hermione led the way back up to the bathroom. She could feel herself start to shake again as her eyes were draw to the crack in the mirror that was caused by her head slamming against it. She took a deep breath and drug her eyes away from everything but the door that led out to the hallway. They had to find Harry and let him know that the horcrux had been destroyed. Find Harry. Find Harry. Find Harry. The mantra echoed over and over again in her brain, pushing her across the bathroom that threatened to cause her to break down once again. She flung open the door and raced out into the hallway, leaving the cursed place behind.

"Hermione! Wait up!" Ron called from behind her as he scrambled out of the tube that led to the Chamber. He watched the door slam shut and he cursed himself for letting her go first. He pulled himself out of the tube and raced across the bathroom and out into the hallway. He looked both directions, trying to figure out what direction Hermione went. He caught a glimpse of her messy brown hair disappearing around the corner to his right and he sprinted down the hallway after her, the whole time cursing himself for being so dumb.

Hermione ran down the first corridor she found that would take her back to the main hall. She had to find Harry. Someone had to know where he was. Someone had to know. She took the stairs two at a time driven by the frantic almost desperate thought that finding Harry would solve everything. That finding Harry and letting him know about the horcrux would make her better. She glanced at the faces of the people she passed, but none of them registered in her mind as friends. No one looked familiar. Their faces were blank and blurry. She had no idea who they were. Some called out to her but their greetings landed on deaf ears. She burst through a door that led into the main hall and she finally spotted a face she recognized, Ginny Weasley. "Where's Harry?" she called as she ran up to the red head.

Ginny looked at her and Hermione could see questions forming in the red head's eyes. "I don't have time for questions. Just tell me do you know where Harry is?" Hermione yelled, anger breaking through the fragile wall that held her emotions and coloring her tone.

Ginny blinked quickly, shocked at Hermione's outburst and nodded her head 'yes'. "He went in the direction of the Room of Requirement, he just left you should be able to catch him." the red head said pointing in the direction of one of the smaller staircases.

Hermione nodded and took off towards the stairs. Harry wasn't that far ahead of her. If she hurried she could find him.

Ron raced up after Hermione, or at least the direction he thought she went. He had a fairly good feeling that she was going towards the main hall but he wasn't entirely sure. He passed a few people and slowed to ask if Hermione had come this way. They all nodded and he took off again. He was sure she had gone in the direction of the main hall. He sprinted up the last set of stairs and sighed in relief when he spotted Ginny and his mother standing close together, waiting for the rest of the family to find them. He sprinted up to them and hugged his mother tightly, he was so happy they were alive. He broke away from his mother and looked at Ginny, she seemed to be a little worse for wear but okay. He sighed in relief and grabbed his sister in a lung crushing hug, he didn't know what he would have done if he had found the same vacant look that was present in Hermione's eyes. He let her go, shaking his head at his bewildered expression. Now it was time to get to business, "Have you seen Hermione?" he asked looking between both of them.

Molly frowned but Ginny pointed her towards the small staircase, "She just went after Harry. Go towards the Room of Requirement."

Ron nodded and took off in the direction Hermione had gone. He barely heard his mother yell, "Be careful!" as he sprinted away from them. Hermione was close. He was gaining on her. Please don't get into anymore trouble until I find you, he prayed to himself as he sprinted up the stairs into a corridor.

Hermione slowed to a jog as she came up on an intersection at the end of the hallway. She knew that either way brought her to the Room of Requirement she just didn't know which way would lead her to Harry. She let her feet take over and didn't second guess when they took her to the left. This was the way they normally went, the numbness in her brain wasn't helping her at all right now. She needed to think. The intersection shouldn't have slowed her down, it was common sense to go the way they always had gone. She rounded a corner that led to the hallway that held the Room of Requirement and slowed to a stop. Harry had to be around here somewhere. She glanced down at the end of the hallway and felt her heart stop. A tall man in dark black robes stared back at her. It was him. She knew it was him. She felt her breathing start to become rapid and she let all of the emotions she had been keeping behind the wall free. Anger, hate and rage coursed through her as she drew her wand and felt her lips form the curse she had sworn she would never ever use. "Avada Ke.." she started to yell but a person appeared out of nowhere, grabbed onto her wrist and pushed it away from where she was aiming. The killing curse hit wide right and the person took off running. Hermione screamed and tore her wrist out of her captor's hold. She whipped towards the person and aimed her wand straight at their chest. She found herself looking eye to eye with Harry. All of the emotions she felt towards Dolohov quickly transfered to her best friend. In that moment she hated him. She hated the boy who lived. He had let her own personal Voldemort disappear. Dolohov had taken her parents and left her scarred, just like Voldemort had done to Harry. How dare he get in the way of her revenge? Again she felt her lips start to form the killing curse. Again a strong pair of arms wrapped around her and her arms were forced down to her side. She struggled desperately against the hold and panic flew through her entire body. Not again! Was the only thought that passed through her mind. Not again.

Ron turned the corner that led to the Room of Requirement and he felt the breath leave his chest. Harry had hold of Hermione's wrist and he saw killing curse swing wide around a man who was at the end of the corridor. Even from here he could tell it was a member of the Order, he'd seen him once before but couldn't remember who he was exactly. He watched as Hermione broke free of Harry's grip and rounded on him. He could tell where this was going and he had to get to her before she did something she would regret. He sprinted as fast as he could and. ignoring all of the protests in his mind, threw his arms around the girl he loved. He held her arms tight to her side. Ron could feel his heart breaking as she struggled against his hold and felt her breathing become more rapid. He knew that she was reliving what had happened in the bathroom and it was all his fault. Yet again. Harry looked from Ron to Hermione and Ron knew Harry could tell that something was wrong. "We destroyed the Horcrux. Go do whatever else you need to do. I can take care of her." Ron ordered. Harry looked like he wanted to ask some questions but Ron shot him a hard look and shook his head.

"I found the diadem, destroy it please. You know what I have to do now." Harry replied, dropping the diadem on the ground. He took one last look at the panicked girl in Ron's arms before taking off down the hallway.

As soon as Harry disappeared down around the corner Ron let Hermione go, quickly grabbing her wand out of her hand as just a precaution.

Hermione flew out of Ron's hold and stumbled over to the brick wall. She slid down it, panic consuming her entire body. She hung her head and realized exactly what she had been about to do to her best friend. Sobs racked through her body. How could she have let herself go so much? She needed help, she couldn't do this. "Ron," she croaked out and she instantly heard his footsteps and felt him slide down the wall next to her. "Ron, I almost...I was going to..." she couldn't finish, her sentence was overtaken by sobs.

"I know but you didn't. If you tell him, I'm sure he would understand." Ron replied clenching his hands together, he wanted to wrap her in his arms and comfort her but he didn't want to scare her again. He wouldn't touch her again without her permission.

"No!" Hermione shouted instantly in reply, "No. We don't tell anyone. I couldn't look any of them in the eye again if they knew. Please, just keep this between us." Hermione begged looking up at the red head, her eyes brimming with tears again.

Ron felt torn. He knew others could help them but he couldn't do anything that would cause Hermione anymore pain. He looked down into her soft brown eyes, watery with tears and felt himself slump slightly in defeat. "We'll keep it between us, I promise." he whispered keeping his eyes locked on hers. Hermione took a deep breath in relief and closed her eyes. This whole thing would stay between them, a secret. A dirty little secret.


	7. Mine

Hermione looked around the Great Hall at the bodies, some dead all wounded. Maybe not all were wounded physically but everyone of the people standing in the hall bore mental scars. All were wounded in their own way. Each one of them had seen things that would haunt them forever, done things that would affect them for the rest of their lives, been the victims of things that would forever change who they were. Hermione took a deep breath. Her world seemed to be crashing down, but she knew that everyone here felt the same way. Why was she any different? Why was her tragedy anymore painful or horrible than any of theirs? Why did she feel so numb? Hermione's locked onto the one man she had been searching for and over the crowd of people she could tell that he had found her as well. She watched him make his way to her and for a brief second she could feel the faint tug of a smile on her lips. It disappeared too quickly. Ron finally reached her.

"Harry and Ginny are all alright. Charlie, Bill, Percy and George are cut up but are going to be okay but Fred...Fred..." Ron felt tears slipping down his face and he couldn't continue.

Hermione felt her knees get weak and tears start to fall. Fred was...no...Fred couldn't be...dead? She wanted to wrap her arms around Ron and not let go. She wanted to let him know that he had support from her for whatever he would need but the thought of touching a man, any man repulsed her a this moment in time and she felt sick with the fact that the man she loved was hurting and she couldn't get over herself long enough to help him. She wasn't the only one who had suffered and yet she was being selfish. How could he love her? How could he love such a selfish person. "I'm sorry," was all she could bring herself to say as they stood inches apart from each other.

Ron brought his hand to his face and wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall. "Let's just go to bed." he whispered heading towards the stairs that led to the dormitories. Hermione followed behind him and let him lead the way.

Hermione and Ron lay on his small bed in the Gryffindor Boy's dormitory. They lay looking into each other's eyes. Each one wanting to say something but they didn't know how to start. Their bodies were only inches from each other but it felt like they were miles apart. Finally, Hermione cleared her throat and looked down at her hands, breaking eye contact with the warm blue eyes that had held her captive. "Ron, I'm leaving." she whispered, glancing back at him and watching his eyes narrow in confusion, she could see the protests forming in his mind. "I need a break from the wizarding world. My parents want me to go to university and get a degree. I think it'd be a good idea, it would be good for me." she explained, searching his face, hopeful that he would understand.

Ron nodded, "I think that would be good idea. Death Eaters are still at large and getting away for a bit may be safer."

Hermione felt herself smile for the first time in what seemed like ages. "Ron, will you wait for me?" she asked, her voice barely audible. She knew he wouldn't want to go to muggle university or be apart from his family for that long but she wished more than anything that he would wait for her to come back. She knew he wanted to start his life but maybe he could put off some parts of it until she came back. Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for his answer.

"Wait for you?" Ron exclaimed, his voice a mixture of anger, confusion and hurt that matched his facial expression.

Hermione felt the fragile hope that she had been able to build up come crashing down. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have expected him to wait for her when she didn't wait for him? She was soiled, used. She was stupid to think that he would want her anymore. Hermione sat up in the bed breaking eye contact with him, she could feel the tears threatening to come. "I think I should go." she muttered, swinging her legs off of her side of the bed.

"Hermione! Wait!" Ron exclaimed, reaching out to grab her wrist but stopping just before his hand made contact with her skin. He'd realized a second too late how his reaction had sounded. He wanted nothing more than to be with her and take care of her for the rest of their lives. He didn't to wait for her. He wanted to go with her. "That's not what I meant. I don't want to wait for you. I want to go with you. I want to be with you, even if it's just like this. Laying an inch apart from each other for the rest of our lives. I don't care. I want to be with you."

Hermione looked down at the hand that hovered over her wrist and looked back at Ron. He wanted her. He wanted to be with her. She felt herself actual smile and she laid back down on the bed. She smiled at him and asked, "You want to university with me?"

Ron smiled and nodded his head, "Yes. Well, no not really. I was thinking I could get a job, a muggle job. I could learn about muggle life. I think your dad would like it if we had something to talk about other than magical stuff."

Hermione laughed. Ron in a muggle job? She couldn't see it but she couldn't deny the happiness that flared inside her at the thought of him wanting to learn about muggle things to be with her. Yet, she felt her smile weaken slightly at the mention of her parents. Ron would never get to talk about sports with her dad or his favorite TV shows with her mum. They were gone. Dolohov had made sure of that. In a second her happiness was crushed and once again she felt the panic, anger and depression come back with the thought of that monster. She would sleep better when he was rotting in Azkaban or even better, dead.

"So it's settled. Tomorrow we can tell my mum and dad that we are going to take a little journey into the muggle world."

Hermione smiled and let her hand close the tiny gap between them as she locked her fingers with his. She could tell that Ron wanted to do so much more but he smiled as he looked down at their locked fingers. He would wait for as long as it took. She was his and he was hers.


	8. Of Course

AN: So this has taken forever I know. Thank long car rides for this update haha. I will try to start working on this again. For a little bit I had intense writers block. Then, today it was like boom! time to write so I hope you enjoy :)

Ron opened his eyes and couldn't help but grin as he Hermione's bushy brown hair was the first thing he saw. He wanted to wake up like this every morning, he wanted that hair that could never quite be tamed to be the last thing he saw every night and the first thing he saw when he woke up. After what felt like ages, Ron finally pulled his gaze away from the beautiful girl laying inches away from him and glanced around the dormitory. He felt his muscles tense slightly in surprise and anger when he saw flash of red hair peeking out from underneath the covers on Harry's bed but he knew it would happen eventually. He had to get over it, as much as it killed him, he had to accept the fact that his baby sister was growing up and he knew that Harry would treat her right.

"Ron?" Hermione's sleepy voice pulled his eyes away from Harry's bunk and back to the girl in his own bunk. Harry was always saying that Hermione was like a sister to him. 'I wonder if he feels the same way about me and Hermione as I do about him and Ginny.' Ron thought to himself.

"Good morning." Ron replied hesitantly, making sure to keep the cushion of space between them. If Hermione wanted him to touch her, she would let him know.

"Good morning to you too." Hermione replied letting her hand travel across the space and loosely grab his. "Ready for breakfast?"

Ron nodded, his eyes on their touching hands. She didn't know how much he wanted to reach across and wrap her in his arms. How much he wanted to hold onto her and never let go.

"I think I kind of want to shower first, if that's okay." He replied. He knew he still had blood in his hair and that his arms were covered in mud and dust form the battle.

"That's probably a good idea." Hermione answered after a few seconds of silence.

Ron could tell there was something she wasn't telling him. He knew that she was hiding something from him. He looked into the chocolate brown eyes that he had come to know so well. "What are you thinking about?" He asked softly, feeling like he could see straight into the turmoil inside her soul.

She broke eye contact with him and stared at the brilliant red comforter on the bed before answering in a soft whisper, "Nothing."

Ron just moved himself into her line of sight and caught her eye again. He could see the tears starting to form and the urge to pull her close and hold on as tight as he could crashed over him again. It physically hurt to keep his arms at his sides and put everything he was feeling into one simple word, "Hermione."

The tears began to fall and it seemed like forever before she was able to choke out, "I haven't been alone since...since..." Hermione pulled her hand out of his, wrapped her arms around herself and hid her face in his pillow.

Ron felt the sudden rush of cold in his hand and felt his throat get tight with anger and unshed tears. How could he have been so stupid! Why couldn't do anything right? Of course she wouldn't want to be alone and she would have to go into the bathroom by herself. A bathroom was where it happened. Every part of any of the lavatories in Hogwarts would remind her of what that bastard had done to her. Ron clenched his fists and knew he would just have do whatever he could to make it easier for her.

"You wouldn't be alone. I'll be right there. Well not right there. I'll sit outside the shower until your done. You won't be alone. You'll never be alone again. I promise." Ron whispered, deciding to take a chance and letting his hand rest on hers for a second before pulling it away.

Hermione turned to look at him, her eyes red and her cheeks tear streaked. "Isn't that against the rules?" She asked.

Ron couldn't help but laugh. They had just fought a war, they had barely survived, all the boys had girls in their beds and the only thing she could think about is if him sitting outside the shower would be against the rules. "Have I ever cared about breaking the rules before?" He asked with a slight grin.

Hermione allowed herself to smile ever so slightly and Ron felt his heart leap. He had made her smile. He could heal her. He knew he could.

Hermione and Ron walked down to the lavatories that the Gryffindor's used. Hermione pushed opened the door and stopped instantly in her tracks. It looked exactly the same as the second floor lavatory. She felt the anger and tears come coursing through her body again. Right there, in front of the sink directly in front of her, one floor down. That's where it had happened. That's where he had taken so much from her. She felt Ron standing less than an inch behind her and knowing that he was there made it possible for her to take a deep breath and take another step into the bathroom. 'Just walk past it to the showers. Just keep walking. Just keep walking. One foot in front of the other.' She ordered herself over and over again inside her head as she looked everywhere but towards the sinks as she walked towards the showers. When she finally got to the showers she looked back at Ron and he smiled the crooked smile that she loved so much.

"Go ahead on in. I'll be right here. I won't leave." Ron promised, his deep blue eyes bearing into hers.

She felt like he could see straight into her soul. It scared her but made her feel safe at the same time. She could count on Ron no matter what. She took another deep breath and pulled back the curtain and stepped into the shower. As soon as the curtain closed she felt a panic start to creep into her body. 'He could be in here' a tiny voice called out in her head. "He's not!" she whispered to herself trying to quiet the voice in her head. She took off the clothes she had been wearing and felt sick as she thought about what had happened in them. She wanted to burn them or curse them into oblivion but she merely set them in a pile. 'You just made it easier for him to do it again. Whore.' the voice inside her head called out, harassing her. "Shut up!" She snarled at it as she turned on the water.

"Did you say something? Are you okay?" Ron called from the other side of the curtain.

Hermione mentally kicked herself. He was going to think she was crazy if she kept talking to herself. "No, I'm fine. Just slipped a little. Don't worry." She called back. The tiny voice silenced itself after that. Ron made the little voice go away. He would protect her. Dolohov would never get close to her again. He was gone for good.

When Ron and Hermione had returned to the dormitories, Harry and Ginny had been up so he was able to leave Hermione with them and run to the boys lavatories. He had taken the quickest shower he had ever taken and practically sprinted back to Gryffindor Tower. Now as Harry, Ginny, Hermione and himself walked down to the Great Hall he almost wished he had taken a longer time with his shower. He dreaded telling his mother, who had already lost a son, that he was leaving the magical world for four years. He didn't know how she was going to react but he pictured a lot of tears, and some yelling. Ron felt his heart beat pick up as he caught sight of his mother and father wedged between Percy and Bill at one of the long tables. Charlie and George sat on the other side of them. Even from as far away as he was he could see the pain written all over George. The plate in front of his fun loving older brother had barely been touched. It hurt to see his normally crazy and joking brother so empty.

Ron hadn't realized he had stopped at the entrance of the Great Hall, staring at his family until he felt Hermione grab his hand and give it a small tug.

When he looked at her it looked like she wanted to say something but didn't know what to say. He nodded and he knew she understood. Neither of them knew what to say to the other about the tragedies that had occurred in the last few hours. There were no words that could fully express the pain, anger, hate and all the other emotions that warred for control inside their heads.

Hermione led him down the aisle and sat down next to George. Harry and Ginny sat on the side with Arthur, Molly, Percy and Bill. For a second, Ron was fooled into believing that his whole family was there to celebrate the downfall of Voldemort. But Fred would never be able to celebrate their freedom from the Dark Lord. He would never know a life without Voldemort. He would never know the age of peace.

Ron cleared his throat of the tears that had been building. His whole family looked down the table at him, probably expecting him to be preparing to say something. He decided that he might as well say what he needed to say. What was the muggle phrase? Ripping off the bandage? Ron looked at his parents. "Hermione and I talked last night and we feel like we need a break from the wizarding world. Hermione is going to go to University and I am going to go with her."

From across the table both Harry and Ginny snorted at the implication that Ron was going to go to University. He glared at them and continued, "I will be getting a muggle job. I want to learn more about the muggle world. Hermione knows all about our world but I know nothing about the world that her family lives in. I think it is right for me to learn about both."

Arthur nodded in understanding and surprisingly Molly nodded as well. "You will visit right?" She asked looking at the man who now sat where her boy had used to sit. Ron had matured and grown into the man she always hoped he would become in the past year.

Ron sighed and felt himself smile out of relief. "Of course we will."


End file.
